My friend: "Looks are not that important,"
My friend: "It's the inner qualities that count"
I look at her wearily. Boy I cannot get over this baloney.
Me: "Ina, do you really believe that crap?"
C'mon do people really believe that? My friend Ina seems to. Ina's story is a bit of sad one, but I refuse to believe it will have a sad ending.
A little over a year ago her husband decided to leave her for a younger, and in his opinion, a better looking person. In his words "he needs someone that creates a fire in him when he looks at her!" If I should ever get my hands on him I will give him an inferno that will heat up his family jewels!
And Ina? She was left behind to look after their, at that time, 3 year old daughter. Shame, because Ina has a great sense of humor, is a fantastic person, honest, sweet, loving, caring and a great girlfriend. She even looks good. So, where is the catch? I sometimes think she is a bit naive.
That's not a bad quality at all, but sometimes I wish I could shake her out of it. She is 33 and thinks her life has ended. She is letting herself go. Something I cannot stand to watch. When he left her, I comforted her when she sulked, cried and felt sorry for herself. One needs it to heal, is what I believe. But slowly I have been encouraging her to go to the gym with me, meet with friends and go out. She does enjoy these times and I know she wants to get out of it but she is being pulled down with self pity and lack of confidence.
So, when she comes up with comments like the one above, I get mad at her. Because I know she is simply consoling herself with second best.
We were recently at a club. Ina, me and two other friends. It was a girls night out and we were having a great time. We were at a club for "30 something" as it is called in Germany.
In Germany the legal age of being allowed to get into clubs is 16 and the drinking age is 18, which means that most clubs have little teenies running around everywhere. The atmosphere is more like visiting some teenage birthday party gone out of control. So, we prefer to go to clubs that are a bit more civilized and sophisticated (on most occasions) created especially for the 30s and above. Sound funny? It's not really if you look at it from one of my friend's point of view. She is a teacher, 30 and says she does not fancy partying with her 16 year old students. Fair point.
Getting back to Ina, we were sitting in the "chill out lounge" sipping on cocktails and there was a guy across the room who constantly was looking over to us. Ina must have caught his attention as she started to squirm in her chair. She does that when she gets nervous. I was noticing all that and looked at her, my eyes wide open and shaking my head.
"Ina, do not even think about it!"
"Do not bat an eyelash at him OK?"
"Because he'll be over in a sec!"
"Is that bad?"
"Yes, because he is not very attractive and is not your type!"
To which Ina answered the very typical statement I started this post with.
Now I do not want to come off as a fickle and superficial person to you all. I believe many of you know I am not. So do my really good friends. For those who are not sure - take it from me I am not. What I am, in these situations, is probably just pragmatic.
I think "good" looks are relative. Every one of us has a certain picture, image or vision of what we find attractive. This is our ideal person and we are often attracted to this "type" of person. If you like - this is our standard. Why should one have to reduce their standard?
Let's be really honest, does anyone go to a club and see someone they have never met before and think:
"He's really ugly, but I am sure his inner qualities are incredible so I am going to get to know him better!"
It's like being served a bunch of stinky brown and green mushy slop on a plate and told:
"It tastes much better than it looks!"
Ahhh! I knew Foodies would be able to relate to that!!
Let's take another example. How many of you find Brad Pitt attractive?
Yes, many of you I know. I do too. But he is not my "type"! Let's say he were to be standing in that club at the bar, I would certainly look but would simply pass (let's just forget the fact that he would never be standing in a club in Weimar and with a woman like Jolie he would not even look at me).
What is my type? The Daniel Craig type is more my cup of tea (let's forget the fact that I may never be his type). Look at Tom and you will see that I am true to my "type".
To me Ina was settling for something that was less her type and standard because she thought she could not do better. A single, 33 year old working mum, divorced, ditched and left to wither.
What a load of unbelievable baloney! Don't you agree?
I pulled her over to the dance floor and soon noticed the perfect person not far from us. Mr. Perfect was Ina's type to the T. Looked good, stylish and left a certain impression in the air. I pushed her a little in his direction. As she realized, she panicked, so it was up to me to make eyes at him. Finally he decided to come over and chat. I moved Ina into his path and once they started talking, I discreetly danced my way back to the lounge. A huge grin on my face.
Ina did not have to settle for second best that night. Or that weekend as it turned out. Apparently the look on her Exs face must have been priceless when he brought their daughter back and saw Mr. Perfect leave.
Ina and Mr. Perfect? Ina had a great weekend, but it turns out Mr. Perfect's inner qualities leave a lot to be desired.
Ina however, is full of confidence and is pretty much back to her vibrant self again. She is now enjoying herself and knows that she can have it all if she wants.
Just like this irresistible dessert. To celebrate Ina's re-coming out I decided to make something grand. We wanted it all - cake, ice-cream and fruit. It had to look good and have the perfect inner qualities.
Don't forget those entries for this month's Monthly Mingle.
Earth Food is all about helping raise awareness for the steps and actions we can take to save our beautiful blue planet. Hope you will find it in your hearts to party with me.
Deadline is August 6th!
Important Announcement: I have unfortunately deleted an entry by mistake that landed in my spam. It was from a Toni. Sorry I hit delete on my spam folder and while it was being deleted I got a glimpse of the entry. So, if a Toni sent me an entry for Earth Food. I would kindly like to request you to send it again. I am extremely sorry about the inconvenience!
200g bitter-sweet chocolate - coarsely chopped
500g cherries - stems removed and pitted
250g quark - substitute sour cream if you cannot get quark
150g whole almonds - with the skins on and coarsely chopped
300g chocolate cookies - I used some chocolate chip cookies
300ml cherry juice
1 packet vanilla sauce powder (for 1/2 liter)
4 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons butter
Cover the base of a spring form with some baking paper. Snap the edge of the form shut around it.
Place a mixing bowl in a water-bath and melt the chocolate with the butter. Put all the cookies in a large plastic freezer back and using a rolling pin finely crush the cookies.
Mix the melted chocolate with the cookies and pour the mixture into the spring form. Using a spoon press the base gently to even it out. Place in the refrigerator to cool for 1 hour.
Roast the chopped almonds in a pan without the addition of any fat. Take out and set aside to cool.
In a small bowl mix 6 tablespoons of the cherry juice with the vanilla sauce powder. Bring the rest of the cherry juice to a boil in a small saucepan. Add the vanilla sauce powder, constantly stirring. Allow to simmer for about a minute until it thickens. Mix in the cherries, then set aside and allow to cool.
In a large bowl whisk the quark, mascarpone, sugar and lemon juice into a smooth mixture. Beat the cream in a separate bowl until stiff and then gently fold into the mascarpone/quark mixture. Add the almonds and the cherry compote and fold into the mixture.
Pour the entire mixture over the cookie base into the spring form. Cover with foil and freeze for 6 hours.
Take the semifredo out of the freezer 20 minutes before serving and allow to thaw at room temperature. This allows the flavors to blend into each other. Decorate with a few chopped almonds and whole cherries.
Cut into slices and serve.
More creamy and fruity ice creams to indulge in:
- Apricot & Pistachio Ice Cream
- Chocolate Raspberry Ice Cream
- Ginger Lemon Ice Cream
- Nougat Glacé
- Strwaberry Frozen Yogurt
Also check out the I Scream For Ice Cream roundup from last month's Monthly Mingle for more ice cream inspiration.
Refreshingly fruity, sophisticatedly creamy and irresistibly cool. Who said we girls cannot have our cake and eat it too? If all men were like this dessert we'd all have our Mr. Perfect.
Ouch! (That was me after Tom pinched me!) I did mention that my guy is my Mr. Perfect from the inside to the outside, didn't I?
My fantastic girlfriend from The Daily Tiffin Sabrina of YumSugar is hosting an Ice Cream Challenge. There is no way I can miss that and for all girls reading this post I'd like to send a huge piece of this Cherry Semifredo Cake to you.
Go on take the cake and eat it too!
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