I cannot remember a time when I wasn’t flexible. Not in the sense of touching my toes, but in my ability to pack my life into suitcases and trust the unknown. My parents moved us from country to country as easily as some people change seasons.

Just when I learned which sweets to buy at the corner store or which slang made me sound less like a foreigner, we would leave again. At first, I longed for roots. I wanted a bedroom I could paint myself, a street I could walk down with my eyes closed. However, somewhere along the way, between learning to smile through language mistakes and discovering that friendship does not require a shared childhood, I realized something important: flexibility was not a weakness; it was wings.

Then came my twenties. While many people my age signed leases and built predictable routines, I packed everything I owned into a single bag and moved to Germany. I didn’t speak the language and knew very little about the German way of life. But having spent my whole life bending without breaking, the unfamiliar did not feel like a threat; it felt like an invitation.

Germany was difficult at first. There were lonely afternoons and scrambled translations. There were cultural moments when I laughed too late or too loudly because I missed the cue. But there were also breakthroughs: my first complete conversation in German, the first time a neighbour offered me cake, and the unexpected joy of meeting my husband.

We moved cities together and then moved again. Each time, we packed the same open mindset: the place changes, but we remain willing to adapt. Each new city taught me something the last one could not. Each goodbye to an apartment or favourite café was simply a hello to something I had not yet encountered.

Then we had our son. Watching him grow, I realised that flexibility is something you can pass down, like a recipe or a well-worn ring. My parents gave it to me, whether they meant to or not. Now my son is 23 years old, stepping into a world that feels less certain with each passing year. And what do I teach him most? Not grammar or career advice or how to fold a fitted sheet. I teach him to bend.

Life will try to snap him in half. Jobs disappear, friends drift away, and plans unravel. The people who survive that with their joy intact are the ones who can look at a shattered plan and quietly ask, “What’s next?”

That is what I mean by flexibility: not giving up your values, but loosening your grip. You can still dream big and map out a beautiful future, but hold those maps as something you can refold, not something carved in stone.

Where do I practice this most now? In the kitchen. Here’s the truth: I have never treated recipes like laws. Bending the rules in the kitchen is the very reason I started this blog. I have always believed that a recipe is a friend, not a commander. It suggests, inspires, and never dictates.

Recently, I made a Thai-inspired pomelo salad with zesty, spicy sardines. Pomelo is that gorgeous, large citrus fruit, sweeter and milder than grapefruit. I tossed juicy pomelo segments with crunchy shallots, fresh mint, coriander, a handful of roasted coconut, and a dressing made from lime juice, fish sauce, and a little honey. Then I took sardines packed in oil with chilli and lemon zest, crisped them lightly in a hot pan, and laid them right on top.

Is it traditional Thai? No. Is it a standard European sardine plate? Not at all. But it is delicious. The sardines brought a briny, spicy, savoury depth that paired beautifully with the bright, juicy pomelo. It wasn’t my mother’s salad, nor was it my German mother-in-law's. It was mine, born from the same flexible spirit that allowed me to pack that bag decades ago and trust the unknown.

That is what I want to pass on to my son and to anyone reading this: you don’t have to choose between honouring traditions and creating something new. Life and cooking reward the open hand, the borrowed idea, and the joyful mashup.

So bend a little today. Swap out an ingredient you don’t have. Take inspiration from a country you’ve never visited. And if someone asks about your pomelo and sardine creation, just smile and tell them you have been practising flexibility your whole life. It is never too late to show an old dogma a new trick.

Food Guide: Sardines

Sardines are having a moment. For decades they lingered at the back of the pantry, associated with dorm rooms and emergency rations. But something has shifted. Chefs are putting them on toast. Food writers are praising their flavour and sustainability. And home cooks are finally discovering what Mediterranean and Asian cultures have known for centuries: sardines are magnificent.

Why you should eat them

Sardines are one of the most nourishing foods you can keep in your kitchen. They are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which support your heart and brain. They provide vitamin B12 for energy, vitamin D for bone health, and calcium if you eat the soft bones in tinned varieties. They are also low in mercury because they are small and short lived, so you can eat them more often than larger fish like tuna.

Fresh versus tinned

Fresh sardines are a treat when you can find them. Look for bright eyes, firm flesh, and a clean sea smell. They spoil quickly, so buy them on the day you plan to cook them. Grill them whole with lemon and herbs, or fillet them for a quick pan fry.

Tinned sardines are where the real magic lives for everyday cooking. A good tin is like a little treasure box. The fish are already cooked, so you can eat them straight away or warm them gently. They come in olive oil, sunflower oil, tomato sauce, or spicy sauces with chilli and lemon zest. For this pomelo salad, look for sardines packed in oil with chilli and lemon. The zest adds brightness and the chilli brings a gentle heat that pairs beautifully with the pomelo.

How to choose a good tin

Do not just grab the cheapest tin on the shelf. Look for sardines packed in olive oil rather than vegetable oil. Check that they are wild caught, not farmed. Portuguese and French tins have an excellent reputation, but you can find good ones from Morocco and Spain too. If the tin says 'sustainable' or carries an MSC label, that is even better.

Storing sardines

Tinned sardines keep for years in a cool, dark cupboard. Once opened, transfer any leftovers to a glass container and eat within two days. Fresh sardines should be cooked within a day of buying them.

Now, back to that recipe.

Thai Inspired Pomelo Salad with Zesty Spicy Sardines

Print Recipe

By Meeta K. Wolff
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes
Serves: 2

Ingredients

Pomelo Salad

• 1 pomelo
• 150g unsweetened coconut flakes, toasted
• 70g peanuts, toasted and chopped
• 2 shallots, thinly sliced
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 kaffir lime leaves, stems removed and sliced thinly
• 1 stalk lemongrass, outer layer removed and thinly sliced
• handful of each: mint and coriander leaves, chopped
• 1 red onion, thinly sliced
• 1-2 teaspoons salt
• 40 ml red wine vinegar

Dressing

• chilli flakes, to taste
• 1 tablespoon palm sugar (alternatively use coconut sugar or honey)
• 2 tablespoons lime juice
• 1 tablespoon fish sauce
• 1 tablespoon light soy sauce
• 1 stalk lemongrass, outer layer removed and thinly sliced
• handful of each: mint and coriander leaves, chopped

Sardines

• 1 good tin of sardines
• chilli flakes

Method

1. Make the vinegar onions
   Place the sliced red onions in a jar, add the salt and vinegar, shake well and then leave to marinate while you make the rest of the salad.
2. Caramelise the shallots
   Heat the olive oil in a pan. Add the shallots and fry until golden brown, caramelised and crispy in places. This can take anywhere from 8 to 10 minutes. Keep the heat at medium and stir every now and then. A few darker crispy parts alongside some caramelised softer parts is what you are looking for. Set aside.
3. Make the dressing
   In a large bowl, add all the dressing ingredients except the mint and coriander leaves. Combine everything well. Taste and adjust any of the components to your liking.
4. Put the salad together
   Add all the pomelo salad ingredients to the bowl with the dressing. Toss well, then add the fried shallots, mint and coriander. Mix and adjust the taste.
5. Warm the sardines
   In a pan, add some of the sardine oil from the tin. Gently heat the chilli flakes on low heat, then add the sardine fillets. Carefully flip and heat the fish through.
6. Plate up
   Lay out two plates and place some salad on each. Add the sardines, drizzling them with the chilli oil. Then add some of the marinated vinegar onions over the top.

Notes

Storing leftovers

This salad is best eaten fresh, while the pomelo is juicy and the fried shallots still have their crunch. If you do have leftovers, store them in an airtight container in the fridge for up to one day. Be aware that the pomelo will release some liquid and the shallots will soften. The flavours will still be lovely, but the texture will be different.

Storing the components separately

If you are meal planning or want to prep ahead, keep the parts separate. Store the dressed pomelo salad without the herbs and fried shallots in one container. Keep the mint and coriander in a damp paper towel inside a sealed bag. Store the fried shallots in a small airtight container at room temperature. The sardines are best warmed just before serving. Assemble everything fresh for the best result.

Making ahead

The marinated vinegar onions can be made up to three days in advance and kept in the fridge. The dressing also keeps well for two to three days in a sealed jar. Just shake it well before using.

A few tips

• To toast coconut flakes and peanuts quickly, spread them on a baking tray and place in a 180°C (350°F) oven for 3 to 5 minutes. Watch carefully because they burn fast.
• If you cannot find pomelo, grapefruit works as a substitute. The flavour will be more sharp and bitter, so you may want to add a little extra honey or palm sugar to the dressing.
• Kaffir lime leaves can be found frozen in many Asian grocery stores. They keep for months in the freezer.
• For a vegetarian version, omit the sardines and fish sauce. Replace the fish sauce with a tablespoon of soy sauce or coconut aminos. Add crispy tofu or tempeh instead of the sardines.

What to serve with this

This salad is quite filling on its own, thanks to the peanuts, coconut and sardines. If you want to turn it into a larger meal, serve it with steamed jasmine rice or sticky rice on the side. A light coconut soup or a simple cucumber salad also pairs beautifully.

---

Verdict

This salad is a quiet triumph. The pomelo brings bright, juicy bursts of sweetness that cut through the rich, briny warmth of the sardines. The fried shallots add a deep caramelised crunch, while the fresh mint and coriander lift everything with their green, aromatic presence. Then comes the dressing: salty, sour, sweet and spicy all at once, tying every element together without overpowering any single one. Every forkful is different. Sometimes you get the coconut, sometimes the peanut, sometimes a hit of chilli from the sardine oil. It is messy in the best way. It is the kind of dish that reminds you why bending the rules in the kitchen is not just allowed, but wonderful. You will make it again. I promise.

You might like these fish and seafood ideas from WFLH:

Prawn Ginger Garlic Tacos	Bouillabaisse with a Red Pepper Rouille	Salmon Kedgeree with Butternut Squash, Parsnip, Fennel and Quail Eggs

---

All photographs and written content on What's For Lunch, Honey? © 2006-2026 Meeta Khurana Wolff unless otherwise indicated. | All rights reserved | Please Ask First