Summer is full on here in Weimar. We’ve got temperatures hitting close to 40 degrees C and the weather is like on a tropical island. It feels good – almost like an extended vacation overseas. Ever since our return from India 3 weeks ago we are taking things easy. Soeren still is out from school and that alone slows down our routine immensely, with no time pressure for homework, sport runs, meal plans or bed time. It’s summer time and the living is really easy!
My word for 2014 came to me this summer when I was vacationing in Thailand. Up until then I had a few words sailing around in my head: listen; pause; awaken - but most of these were induced by the situation I was in at the time. What I wanted to do the most, what really makes up my character and defines my personality was the word - connect. And last year I cocooned myself from a lot of people shielding myself from disappointments, trouble, pain and worry
I was washed over with a variety of such powerful feelings I had never experienced before. It was more than overwhelming. Predominantly there was a feeling of an incredibly strong love, it was so strong that my heart ached. But there was also fear, of the unknown, of failing and of making mistakes. Then a wild excitement of a new era in my life. As he opened his big black eyes for the first time, looking up at me with an intensity that sent goosebumps down my spine, I was hooked like a chocoholic to his slab of dark chocolate!
[Farinata | Image for Köstlich Vegetarisch Italian Special 04/2013]Time has been speeding past me like a super-high speed jet. It’s like I am in a whirlwind, being sucked into the daily chores, replying to the many emails, the photo shoots, keeping up with the son who is getting more strong-willed and developing a distinct character, attending meetings, going to physiotherapy. It feels like I am scattered in a multitude of places all at once. I’m not complaining … it’s the way I function and it’s what my energy needs to keep it at the soaring level. However, I often feel that the days are getting shorter and I am being shortchanged with the hours in the day. Don’t you feel that too? .
Close your eyes. Imagine the one place you would love to be in at this moment.
Where are you?
Me … I am in Norway – winding up around the narrow roads of the magnificent mountains, floating on the stunning clear fjords or lying on a lush green grassy hill under cherry trees. Roma … sitting in a lively coffee bar in Trastevere. Terracotta, maize and wine colored buildings cast a glow almost like a daylong sunset. In Gozo, watching the big fiery sun dip into the turquoise sea just behind the Azure Window. In a vibrant, psychedelic market in Istanbul.
Funny how one week can differ so drastically from another and the days are a constant roller coaster ride filled with barrel rolls, boomerangs and catapults. On the positive days it is often enthralling but on those dark and negative calibrated days this is emotionally draining. On these days all you really want is come home, run a hot bath to drown out the emotional and mental noise and look forward to a comforting meal, maybe even at having a good bitch with the partner!
It was just about a year ago that I was frantically packing my suitcases, mentally reciting a few lines from my presentation and packing my camera equipment, heading towards Florence. I always love traveling to Italy as it’s a country I feel attached to - its rich culture, the atmosphere, the people and the food, all entice me and inspire me on many levels. Traveling to Florence this time was special however, as I was going to be joined by 3 dear friends and 12 new faces. What I did not know however I was going to come away with many new friends and cherish the old ones more.
“I feel old! Turning 44 has not been good on me.” I looked at my dear friend and smiled. She did not look 44. Her face glowed and the skin was smooth without the blemishes years tend to gather.
“Make sure you enjoy your 40th … after that it just does not go down well!” she warned me.
I looked at her, laughing nervously as she read my thoughts.
Time: here today, gone tomorrow. Trying to hold onto it is like trying to grasp sand in our fists, it creeps through our fingers leaving only traces of what was … once upon a time. But time creates memories allowing us to delve into moving emotions, sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet. While I cannot hold onto time, I can keep the cherished memories and thrive on the feelings time creates.
I’ve led a life of a gypsy for a large part of my years. Together with my family, our wanderlust took us from Cairo to Bali, from Colombo to Kuwait from Houston to Zanzibar. These kilometers were covered before I even turned eleven. Just as I began unpacking my Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl books and found the perfect place for my posters, it was time to cram them into the aluminum and wooden chests again, which we had especially made for our travels.
I’m packing again! This time I’m off to Florence and as much as I would love to say it’s for play and shopping, it’s not. I am afraid I won’t be able to take in much of the sights of my beloved city this time. I’ve always had somewhat of a love affair with this city. Florence, a city I visited for the first time when I was a starry eyed 16 year old teenager accompanying my dad who had the ability to engage me with his captivating stories and tales. Together we spend several summer vacations touring Italy from coast to coast, but Florence was always in my heart.
It seems Autumn has finally come to Weimar. September was filled with non-stop sunny days, bright blue skies and summery high temperatures. It spoilt me. Basking in the warmth of an extended summer I got used to walking out of the house in flip flops and shorts, leaving the warmer jackets behind, hanging on the cloak rack. It felt unusual to enjoy the pleasures of summer right through into September.
Staring at the ceiling of our bedroom, I was feeling restless, my mind going through the chores and tasks of the new day ahead. Sleep did not fancy coming back to me no matter how I tossed and turned. Not wanting to disturb the household I tiptoed into the kitchen to fix myself a strong cup of coffee.
Mercilessly pounded by catastrophes that send it rocking and erupting into a fury, it would seem as if the Earth is falling apart. This weekend most of us probably watched in shock as a massive earthquake shook Japan and minutes later a gigantic Tsunami wiped out kilometers of coastal region in northern Japan. Now while we all sit on edge praying that the developments in Fukushima do not add more devastation, my mind cannot help but ponder on thoughts about the epoch we are currently living in.
As I entered the house the first thing that struck me was the composed stillness. The lights were on but it really seemed that nobody was home. Straight away my mind began wondering if something was wrong. Why is it that every time things are slightly displaced or out of routine we expect the bad?
This weekend I was able to create a milestone to call my own. A milestone that fills me entirely with pride and honor. This weekend I became a Godmother.
The air in the house is cool and refreshing. I let out a slight sigh. The weather outside is hot, sticky and sunny and thankfully the house remains cool throughout the few heat waves Germany experiences during the year. And while they are so few, I enjoy them to the fullest.
I like to reminisce in regular intervals. While I am whisking, chopping or simply stirring I will tilt my head to a side and think to myself "So I am whisking now! What was I doing this time last year?" Tom often tells me look forward and not back. But I tend to disagree with that. I believe that by taking a look back at what you have done and where you came from, you can often reassess your goals and check if you are progressing forward the way you wanted to, if not re-focus. Furthermore, if you do not remember the mistakes you made back then how will you hinder yourself from making them again?
As I got back from Dubai one of the first blogging duties I did was check out the latest Daring Bakers’ challenge. Although the group has grown into a size of a small town and I certainly do not know half of them, I am always pleased to surf onto a new find and make a new acquaintance. I also love seeing the variety of interpretations on one recipe, which often gives me new ideas and inspiration for a future recipe or experiment.
“Sorry we’re not baking this month...” was the very first line I read as I opened up the Daring Kitchen forum earlier this month to see what the Daring Bakers’ were going to be challenged with. OK I am going to admit I did a sigh of relief! November has been full for me – too full! It has taught me to never pack a month so full with things!
